This spring, Demi Lovato updated their pronouns. It was a subtle change.
Though they had already come out as nonbinary, Demi shared an openness to she/her pronouns.
In a new interview, she explained why she has broadened her pronouns.
It’s not actually complicated, but some people are deliberately misinterpreting what they have to say.
We have all seen some clickbait about Demi’s pronouns this week.
Actually, “clickbait” is overly generous.
Bigots have written and amplified malicious misinterpretations of Demi’s interview.
Here is a current snapshot of Demi Lovato’s Instagram profile.
In their bio, they list their name and pronouns — “they/them/she/her.”
Demi made this update back in May, and we reported as much at the time.
This week, a number of people acted like this months-old update to Demi’s bio was “new.”
More to the point, people wanted to use it to use Demi as some sort of strawman (or the nonbinary equivalent) to take cheap shots at all nonbinary people.
Let’s now look at what she actually had to say about this months-old update to her pronouns.
On Monday, Demi Lovato spoke during The Spout Podcast to promote her upcoming album, HOLY FVCK.
“I’ve actually adopted the pronouns of she/her again,” Demi Lovato shared during the interview.
“So for me, I’m such a fluid person that I don’t really… I don’t find that I am…” she began to explain.
They continued: “I felt like, especially last year, my energy was balanced and my masculine and feminine energy.”
Demi found herself in a position “so that when I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom and it said, women and men.”
They explained: “I didn’t feel like there was a bathroom for me.”
Demi reasoned that this was “because I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man.”
“I just felt like a human,” they then expressed. “And that’s what they/them is, is about for me.”
Demi went on by explaining: “It’s just about, like, feeling human at your core.”
Now, to be clear, she’s right. She’s simplifying things a little, but she’s right.
Nonbinary genders are simply anything outside of the artificial gender binary.
Our modern culture emphasizes the idea of two genders, somehow synonymous with sex.
The reality is that neither genitals nor chromosomes match up to a strict binary.
More importantly (since anatomy is not gender), various cultures have acknowledged other genders for millennia.
The Gala in Mesopotamia. The sekhet of Ancient Egypt. While Two-spirit is a neologism for indigenous North Americans, the concept is very old.
More importantly, of course, Demi and other nonbinary folks don’t need historical backing to be themselves.
People are allowed to simply exist. You can keep your assigned name and pronouns from birth. But you don’t have to.
Demi is allowed to change her pronouns. So is everyone else. You can also change your favorite color or sports team.
There’s a common adage in the LGBTQ+ community about these kinds of conversations.
Sometimes, talking about gender and sexuality to those outside the community is awkward.
As many memes express, it feels like you’re suddenly a kindergarten teacher. Even when you’re talking to a grown adult.
But we would all love to see people pay attention to what Demi is actually saying about themself.
She uses an array of pronouns, just like so many people do.
It would be amazing if this were a teaching moment for some people. A lot of nonbinary folks likely feel tired of having to justify their existence.