Ahead of this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Erika Jayne had a confession.
She admitted to mixing alcohol and prescription medications, adding that she hadn’t realized how she would behave.
On this week’s episode, we saw the results.
Erika was, to quote one viewer, “RHONY level drunk” during the group’s boat adventure, leading to some NSFW comments and poses.
Erika Jayne was the first to admit that she was “lit” as the group boarded the boat.
While Kyle Richards and the other ladies made a show of focusing on the safety guidelines, Erika was feeling no pain.
Her castmates could not help but notice how loopy she was.
Erika appeared to have trouble focusing.
She made “off” comments to the crew, who were just there to do their jobs.
Still, she was mostly functional … at first.
When the boat got underway, however, it was naptime for Erika.
Like many toddlers who have been forced to lay down for a nap but are not sleepy, she stayed awake.
Erika was the one who decided to lie down, but she clearly kept herself entertained, whether or not the camera was on her.
Erika was a bit of a chatterbox.
She rambled under her breath about how much she enjoyed life on the boat, with the mic catching every word.
Clearly, she is nostalgic for what her life was like before Tom Girardi upended everything.
While many of us may feel sorry for Erika (and many do not), this is not cute.
It’s worrisome to see someone so intoxicated that they cannot even enjoy a boat ride with friends.
The fact that Erika was in this state before they got underway makes this seem like a cry for help.
On the one hand, Kyle did comment to the others that it was nice to see Erika so peaceful.
She did, however, go to check on her.
Like so many of us have done for friends who have partied too hard, she encouraged her to hydrate and to eat something.
Eventually, Erika was feeling well enough to join the others at the table, which boasted a generous spread of food.
“I’m fine, I’m just drunk,” she told the others. “I drank a bunch of liquor, I took a bunch of medication.”
While she was fine to sit up and eat for a bit, clearly some of her filter was gone.
“If you had a choice of a threesome,” Erika asked Crystal Kung Minkoff.
“Be it with two girls involved or two guys involved,” she asked, “what would you choose?”
Garcelle, entertained by the subject, got specific, asking Crystal if she would be involved and perhaps Crystal’s husband, Rob.
Real Housewives has a number of older viewers who find threesomes somewhat scandalous to discuss, so it’s not a surprising topic.
Crystal’s facial expression was … exactly right.
This is the face that you make when someone springs hypothetical threesome questions that you’d never considered.
Crystal gave her actual answer to the confessional camera.
She noted that Erika and Garcelle are both lovely women … but not for her, personally.
That was a tasteful, diplomatic reply.
Hilariously, this conversation led to Erika saying “It doesn’t matter. The pussy’s there.”
Rest assured that I, at least, will be using this line as a reaction image whenever possible.
Drunk Erika is every bit as meme-worthy as Sober Erika, it seems.
Not even chowing down on some food was enough to cancel out the combination of alcohol and medication.
Erika had to go lie down again. Sometimes, you just have to sleep things off.
This time, she placed a hat over her face, and was seemingly less chatty.
Meanwhile, Diana had an unfortunate run-in with a jellyfish, receiving a sting.
While the staff treated her with actual medicine, several of the Housewives suggested urine as a treatment.
(That is a myth, and may even worsen a sting — fresh urine has antiseptic properties, but it is not antivenom)
This did not stop the Housewives from bringing it up.
Erika even suggested (nay, ordered) that Garcelle should go do the deed.
She added that this might be some sort of “fetish” thing. She was not coherent, but she wasn’t wrong, either.
Erika had obscured her own vision with a straw hat, but she was quite a sight.
She was sprawled out, her outfit just centimeters away from making the editors use a blur.
Clearly, she was having a good time.
This is not Erika’s most dignified hour.
Instead, this was her way of coping with months and months of stress.
If it becomes a habit, we should all be concerned.
For now, we can simply enjoy this for what it is: entertainment.
Sutton Stracke should be grateful that Erika was such a hot mess.
If not for Erika, we might have all focused on Sutton once again brushing off any conversation that wasn’t about her.