HOW I BECAME A PRETTY STONER.
Good day to all my fellow Pretty and Handsome Stoners. Welcome to the STONER CRONICLES. A short story segment about real life stoner experiences. I’m Zauditu C.F Lewis and for our first story I’m going to take you back with me to the 90’s real quick to the first time I smoked weed.
It was September.1995, school had just begun about 2 weeks prior and my birthday was coming up. My BFF/ cuz Shvonna and I were hanging out after school one day discussing what we were going to do for our birthdays since we’re only a few days apart. As we’re planning, she’s rolling up and looks at me with a sly grin. Then she says “ You’re going to smoke these two blunts with me right now and I don’t want to hear shit ! We’re not going anywhere until both are done ! “. She was so serious lol and I wanted to try it anyway. I lived in a Rastafarian household so naturally it was inevitable. I was 14 going on 15, very mature for my age, thought I was grown ( as most teens do ), and my curiosity had reached its peak. So I allowed her to force me without much hesitation. We went in the building hallway and smoked both spliffs back to back.
Well thank THE LORD it wasn’t the strains we smoke today. It was Chocolate and Tyson back then, not as strong but certainly did the trick. I was so damn high and it was the best feeling in the world ! All these wonderful feelings started coursing through my veins and I remember saying to Vonna “ Bitch, I’m hungry ! “. I was overcome with this insatiable hunger aka THE MUNCHIES ! We went inside and we went HAM ! My Aunty Beverly, Vonna’s mom, always kept a stacked kitchen. She had every cereal, snack, meat, candy, and beverage known to man. A stoner’s dream kitchen and I was in pure heaven. We ran through a bit of everything and when Aunty Bev came home, she cussed us so bad lol. All we could do was laugh and laugh, the giggles kicked in and she kicked us out. So we went to the game room around the corner. While she’s kicking ass in pool, the inevitable “ ITIS “ starts to hit me smh. As I catch myself nodding off and starting to drool, I hear the most beautiful singing voice fill the room. I popped up, wipe my drool, looked up, and there he was. This tall, dark, and handsome chocolate dude walked in singing like an angel. I could smell him from a mile away and he was dressed very nice and clean. We caught each other’s eyes for a moment and he commenced to playing pool with my cuz. He was a pool shark, the first to beat my cuz, and I was impressed. I learned later on that he was showing off just for me. First impressions, right ? Lol
Now I’m feeling all tingly watching him, so I stepped outside for a smoke ( bad habit that started at 13 smh ), hoping to get his attention. He soon follows. Again, I was very mature for my age and certainly didn’t look like the average 15 yr old. I had the body of an 18/19 year old, spoke like one, and dressed like one. We exchanged numbers after a brief conversation. He realized afterwards that I was a few years younger than him when another dude asked my age so we decided to just be cool. The three of us started hanging out together frequently and our feelings grew despite our age difference. I also began smoking weed more often because they were true potheads. That’s when I learned that good ol’ Mary Jane gets you extremely aroused when you’re with someone you’re attracted to. One thing ( smoking weed ) led to another ( sex ), and a year later I gave birth to my first child. Who would’ve thunk it ?! I met my daughter’s father all because I let this chick get me high !!! Hahaha, I wouldn’t change it for the world ! I’m proud to say that I have successfully raised a wonderful daughter although I started at a very young age. She’s 24 now, beautiful, intelligent, successful, funny, and loves her momma like no other. She’s my best friend, my first true love, and also a true pretty stoner like her mommy. PRETTY STONERS FOR LIFE !
Stay tuned for more of STONER CRONICLES. If you would like to be featured in this segment, please send your stories to email@example.com. NO VIOLENCE, GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, ILLEGAL DRUGS, ADVERTISEMENTS, OR ANYTHING THAT WILL VIOLATE THE LAW WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED. WE ARE INTERESTED IN FUNNY, INFORMATIVE, CONTROVERSIAL, AND LIFE CHANGING INSPIRING STORIES. SUPPORT THE STONER LIFESTYLE AND THANK YOU ALL ! HOPE YOU ENJOYED !
PRETTY STONER USA